What happens at Side by Side Psychology practice?

18th June 2021

Hey lovely human,

This afternoon I did a quick Live video chatting about my bricks and motor practice, Side by Side Psychology. Where I shared the reason behind it’s name and the different kinds of intervention and therapy that I provide.

Everything that I do and endeavour to be, is about promoting and helping my clients develop a positive sense of themselves, understand their strengths and build their resilience and optimism.

And as it happens, it is also Autistic Pride Day today, which is a great reminder about how we can celebrate, help to spread awarenes, understanding and amplify autistic voices.

I’ve also been able to attend a virtual conference this week the organisation Yellow Ladybugs for Autistic Women and Girls all about Mental Health and Safety. If you don’t already know about this wonderful organisation, go here to learn more. You may also still be able to buy a virtual ticket to the conference where you can watch the presentations for the coming 30 days. .https://www.yellowladybugs.com.au

Wishing everyone a great day no matter where you are in the world!

Change

#contentology

#nicolasmoras

Certainly change is the only thing we can really guarantee and given this previous week, we’ve certainly become become experts at navigating last minute changes. Whilst some of these can be unpleasant and stressful, overall change can have a transformative impact and be triggers for growth and evolution. Sometimes change is gradual, sometimes it is abrupt. Either way, when a change happens TO us, finding a way to make it work FOR us is important. So no matter your relationship with change, notice if you are encouraging it, avoiding it, hiding from it or welcoming it.

And when all else fails with understanding change, I come back to a favourite quote that is attributed to Mahatma Gandhi: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Movement

#movement

#contentology

How do you know you are moving?

How do you create it and keep it happening?

It’s an interesting concept in psychology to try and measure ‘movement’ of mindset or movement from one state to another. Often it means to be aware of progression, of change, of development into something new. The thing with the kind of movement that I’m involved in, it is often gradual and subtle. Shifting perspectives, developing positive self esteem, learning emotional regulation and how to generate a gratitude mindset are generally not shifts that happen instantly or overnight. For me it means accepting that sometimes the movement feels minuscule or inconsequential, and perhaps on other days the movement feels too big and overwhelming. And yes some days the pace of movement will feel too slow and other days too fast. Acknowledging the feelings we have about movement and being accepting of the fact we can’t always control how this movement will appear in our lives, helps me not to become impatient when I want movement to happen faster or more dramatically.

So here is a few of my tips around movement and how to welcome it:

1) If you believe that the actions you are taking will lead to positive change, then have continued faith in these things and that they will create the movement you wish to see

2) Take moments to reflect backwards through your life timeline every now and then. As this can make the movement clearer (which inspires us to keep taking action)

3) Have people or things around you that inspire you to continue creating the momentum in your life

And finally make sure you are allowing the space for the shifts to occur, let go of the past and be open to the future that is still being created.

Kate x

Creating Inspirations

Today I was going to talk to you about how inspirations is an important part of feeling positive and motivated and how we all need it.  But today I’m in Melbourne with my gorgeous sister and her family, so I thought I’d write to you instead….(just because my gorgeous 13month old niece was going to make it difficult to talk over!)…..

Today I was thinking about the role of inspiration and how having that inspiration can have a ripple affect.  One of the aspects of my job, as I see it, is to inspire others.  And although that’s not something that I set out to do by my behaviour, it’s always great if something I do inspires others.

More specifically in the therapy room, I want to give my clients feelings of hope, positivity and inspiration when they think of themselves and who they are and what they can be. 

Often many of my children and teen clients have developed not so positive ideas of themselves, whether it’s because they are struggling to manage emotions, have difficulties with friends or have conflict within their families. 

Part of their journey of discovering that they are autistic is showing them examples of how being themselves is a really great thing, but that also showing them people who are also autistic, having done extraordinary things that everyone admires and is grateful for.  I want them to believe that being successful or being accepted can happen because they are autistic-and how exactly their autistic differences have helped them. 

So as part of building this process, we talk about autistic people who have done great things in history, and great individuals that are currently doing things.  I show them books of autistic individuals, we look up individuals who have had impact in different fields, hoping that this has a positive impact.  I want them to begin to look at their differences as strengths, not deficits. 

The way we talk about the difference of others, really does make an impact on how we conceptualise this difference, so I’d definitely encourage you to have conversations like these with your young person/young people as often as you can, with this in mind. 

This is not to be confused with pressuring them to have to achieve at a high level to be admired, but that showing admiration for individuals who are just like them to the core.  So paying attention to rather than excluding this group of individuals is a way of encouraging admiration of autistic people and what they can accomplish.

We all need inspiration from others who have gone before us, I know I need it to do the work that I do in trying to expand the message to many people. 

And….children and teens are no different. 

They are always looking for role models, for examples to live by, for things to look to as what can be possible.  So by opening up the awareness that there are many, many individuals that have led inspirational lives, just might help inspire your child to begin (or continue) thinking of themselves in a really positive way.

Happy Friday to you and your family!

Kate

Celebrating

#contentologymarch2021

#nicolamoras

#celebrating

Celebrating that the first 3 months of the year are nearly done! How fast has it gone?! I’m celebrating that I’m very close to having the draft of my book completed, that I’ve been able to give a review to another author on their amazing new book, that I have a weekend of catching up with family and relatives from away this Easter weekend, that we’ve celebrated a dance concert and a basketball grandfinal already this year, with lots of great sporting activities planned for the year. I’m celebrating that 2021 has not been the rollercoaster that 2020 was at this same time and that there is a great deal to be grateful for, including the ability to begin party planning for the run of birthdays that is about to start in our family.

What’s your mini or not so mini-celebration as you reflect on the past three months of 2021?

Candles Logan

#contentologyMarch2021

#nicolamoras

#candleslogan

I love candles and the different smells, but don’t put them on as much as I would like, my husband is very sensitive to smells and no matter how nice I think they are, he never seems to agree! So if candles had slogans on them mine might be “Quick light me, hubby is out of the house!” If your candle could talk to you, or remind you of something what would it say? I think scent is such a powerful shifter of emotions, so it could be really helpful to have a reminder of that.Could it be “You light me up!”, “Breath me in” “Become lighter” or something else that your candle reminds you of?Here is my current favourite candle, which has a lovely heavy sent of Oakwood, Leather, Moss and Patchouli.

Kate x

Brave

#contentologyMarch2021

#nicolamoras

#brave

Have you been brave lately?

Do you have to regularly take brave action because anxiety is something that visits you regularly? Brave: one definition is “having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty”Feeling brave is such an interesting mix of emotions-it’s recognising fear and choosing to behave against the instincts of safety and security.

In some circumstances people can look at people acting in a brave manner and mistakenly assume they are not afraid. And we know this is not necessarily the case, in fact I’ve always thought that understanding bravery meant recognising that it occurs in the face of feelings of fear, insecurity, doubt, anxiety and worry. It’s the actions and hopefulness that propels brave action, and sometimes acting brave helps those hopeful, courageous and strong feelings grow.

Sometimes courage doesn’t have this effect until the behaviour is over, but usually we feel more positive after brave actions we may even feel a sense of accomplishment and pride. Acting against our fear instincts is usually done because there is belief that this will be beneficial for us in some way. It should be done because we trust that our anxiety is not ‘trustworthy’ in this instance and that we logically understand pushing through the fear will be worth it.

So being ‘brave’ is not something that should be encouraged without careful thought and ignoring fear and anxiety should also be listened to carefully before choosing to push through it. Like the risks of being ‘positive’ in a blanket toxic manner, we need to be careful not to use encouragement to be ‘brave’ whether to ourselves or our children, as a dismissing statement about not being allowed space to feel anxious or (because all emotions are absolutely valid) but listening and taking note of our emotions and then deciding what actions are going to be most aligned with our goals and values. Sometime that will mean taking brave action and sometimes that will mean listening to our anxiety and that action will be ‘brave’ in its own unique way.

Kate x

What are you watching?

#contentologymarch2021

#nicolamoras

#WhatAreYouWatching

What great shows have you been watching lately? I recently watched The Old Guard, even though I thought it was not really in my genre as I thought a little too much like a blah action flick. But I really enjoyed it and was also impressed by it’s soundtrack and have now found a new music artist that I really love-Active Child.Plus I’ve now found out that it’s likely to be a trilogy series, so more good movies to come and possibly a book series to hunt down to read!

Kate

Meaning of my name

#meaningofmyname

#contentologyMarch2021

#nicolamoras

What’s the meaning of my name? I didn’t know until today, but generally, I have viewed my name as a little unexciting, just because the name Kate is so common. (Hence I’ve given my daughters what I think are interesting and different names).

In researching this I found on a name website where it looks at the meaning and history of names that others associate the name Kate with: ‘Classic, natural, wholesome, strong, refined, simple and nerdy’.

I actually like many of these words and would be happy to have them describe me, but whether they do is another matter. The main meaning that come up frequently is that Kate means ‘pure.’

Well I think my intentions and messages from the heart are pure, so perhaps there’s something to be said for it…! 🤷‍♀️

Love Where You Live

#lovewhereyoulive

#sunraysia

#contentologymarch2021

#nicolamoras

I don’t love living so far from cities and other people (when it involves 8 hour car rides with unsettled kids), but I do like that it is away from the hustle and bustle of city living.

I don’t like living in a dessert, however I do like the warmth of summer and autumn and the clear skies we have during the day and at night.

I don’t like living away from the beach (because I love the expanse, the view and the scents of the ocean), but I do love the river, the bush and the amazing family and friends that live where I do.

So you don’t have to love EVERYTHING about where you live, to love it. And I think that is true for many things in life. There will likely always be things we like and dislike about things, but our overall feelings can still be positive.

Kate x