Throwback

#Contentology

#throwback

Five years ago at this time of year, we’d just taken a family trip to
Adelaide to Zoo and the beach. I was largely an at home mum
caring for my youngest daughter who was three, with my middle
daughter in Prep and my eldest in Grade 2.
I was working from a room at the Mildura Kids Clinic, doing private
practice a few days a week and I had just started running a weekly
group for anxiety and stress management for children on the autism
spectrum.
Side by Side Psychology as it is now was not yet developed, I didn’t
have my own room or other staff and my practice time was
arranged to fit around my family’s needs.
Now my girls are a little older, but still my practice is built around
what works for us as a family. Making sure that I pay attention and
allow time for my children’s emotional and social development is a
high priority for me, and it actually helps to guide lots of my
business decisions. I know that I cherish the years I had home with
them and those times cannot be replaced. Whilst my journey into business and understanding it the way I do
now, was in it’s infancy back then, it’s great to see the growth that
has happened over the last five yers and I’m excited to see what
the next five years will bring for Side by Side Psychology, Bright
Side Learning and Therapy and Kate French businesses!
Looking back can show us how far we’ve come and the lessons that
we’ve learnt!

Apple vs PC

#contentology

#applevspc

The Apple versus PC computer question is one idea is one that has
been used over to years to help explain thinking and brain
differences for children and adults, when we are trying to explain
what autism is- without going through all the criteria.
Explaining autism in a single sentence is actually quite a challenge,
and this by no means necessarily does the job perfect, however it
can be a helpful analogy for some.
So if you have someone who is into computers, and they
understand that there are Apple computers and PC computer
operating systems, they will understand that there they are both
computers that work and work well, but that from a set up
perspective and a users perspective, there are some important
differences between them.
So understanding this idea and these differences, we can then say,
that our own brains could be either an Apple or PC computer. And that means we largely classify our brain types into two categories of
being neurotypical (without autism) and neurodiverse or autistic.
What I like about this analogy, is that it helps to show that both
computers and both kinds of brains are effective, clever and
powerful and get the job done, but that neither one is better than the
other, just different!
So I don’t know if you have heard this analogy before, or even if you
found it useful, but let me know your thoughts on it.
If you know of another analogy that goes some of the way to
explain the complexity and wonder that is autism, I’d love to hear it!

Greenery

#contentology #greenery

I love having greenery around me, there is something very invigorating. These are a few of the indoor plants that I have in my Side by Side practice office and the lovely green space that we built in our atrium.

Bringing outside in, is really important when you work in an office most of the time. We know how important being in nature is for our mental health, so I find natural light and greenery important (even if I am not particularly a ‘green thumb’ and do struggle to keep them alive at times!).


How do you keep greenery around you at work or home?

Surprise

#contentology

#surprise

People that have not met me in person are surprised to learn that
I’m really short, and the shortest in my family (of six kids), AND that
my average sized13 year old daughter, is now taller than me!

And what’s surprised ME about this as I’ve gotten older, is that this
thing that was an annoyance as a teenager (mainly because people
assumed I was younger than I was and my career as a dancer or
top netballer was not going to come to fruition!), has really become
an asset as a child and adolescent psychologist that works with kids
on the autism spectrum.

Often kids can be understandably anxious when then come to meet
a psychologist for the first time, but I think that for most kids when
they see me, it is difficult not to be put at ease, when I’m not an
intimidating figure.

I find my height is something I’m comfortable to talk about (as the
kids usually mention it!), it’s something I can empathise with (the
kids who feel they look different to their peers-whether shorter, taller
etc), and over time it’s a frequent rapport builder as the kids check
their height against mine and I become their personal measuring
stick as they grow to surpass me over the years!

I share with them, that height, like lots of differences that we may
not always be comfortable with about ourselves, do not necessarily
need to be changed to become like everyone else. In fact, learning
to love those differences about ourselves is the real challenge and
real celebration.

What is your Pet Peeve?

#contentology #petpeeve
When internet doesn’t work, when my desk is unorganised, when I find things on the bench I’ve already given to my daughter/s to put in their bedrooms, when I find washing in the machine that has been forgotten to hang out.

Finding washing in the machine that I’ve (or someone else…) has forgotten to hang out….then re-washing only to forget to get it and need to re-wash it!
I think the record might be that we have washed the same load about three times before if finally got to the washing line or dryer! (ha!).
Although in the big scheme, it’s a small thing, sometimes these things can derail our good mood. Or we can choose to laugh at ourselves and remind myself that other people have these things happen too………don’t they?!!

What’s your pet peeve?!

Hot Tip: Coping with Covid-19

#contentology

#hottip

Thinking of one tip that you can put in action today and my one hot tip would be to try and keep the ‘doom and gloom’ and in particular issues relating to all things COVID-19 talk limited and measured around young kids as you can. Yes, be there for them to talk to about it things that are worrying them, but don’t assume they are as stressed by it as we might be, in fact they may have other things completely unrelated that they are worried by!

If you do have children that tend to be more anxious and are tuned into world affairs, it is a good idea to really try and reduce the amount of media reports they listen to, so turn off the television when it’s news time (which is often around teatime), keep radio updates to a minimum and try to keep adult conversations about worries and concerns separate to your conversations that you have with them.

Answer their questions as honestly as you can, and stress that there is lots that we can manage in our own environment to help us feel good and stay safe.

Kids can have their own ways of coping and keeping perspective about what they should worry about and what they will leave to adults, so it is useful to be careful not to over-share about the things we are worried about.

Because if there is anything that I know to be true, it is that anxiety is more catching than most things at present. We have seen this with panic buying and other behaviour, so when we, our kids rock and safe place, become visibly anxious, this is likely to spread to our children.

So whilst it is great to express our emotions to our children, we have to remember that we are the adults, we have the ability to look at the bigger picture and to model healthy ways of coping. If you feel that you are really not coping, you need to talk about your fears and worries, reach other to other trusted adults around you or seek out a mental health professional, (by Telehealth if need be).

Kate

Books

#contentology #books

Books are an absolute passion of mine, both personally and professionally. I have a pile of books that I have next to my bed stand, with a mix of professional reads, magazines (Breathe, Mindful parenting) and business books. And book series are my version of Netflix binging, with the ability to read late into the night through a series of books. I’ve also been in a bookclub for a many years, which is a great opportunity to talk about books that I’ve enjoyed reading with people who also feel the same. Reading for pleasure is something I find difficult to do at times, just because I find them hard to put down, so sometimes I’m hesitant to start a new book because I know my own tendencies!
But I’m currently reading a book series that was given to my daughter earlier this year and I thought I should read it to make sure it was suitable and also so I could tell her whether it was good or not-so far I’m into the 4th book of the Ms Peregrines School for Peculiar children and am enjoying it and happy to see she has now picked up the first book.
Books are also important for writing in, journalling in, planning and dreaming in. Writing thoughts into a book is something that I encourage with children and teens around me. In terms of journals, there are lots of great mindfulness and growth mindset journals that can be used to encourage into these good thinking and mindset habits. Books are also incredibly important to my work as well, with books used to demonstrate a concepts, read with clients so that we can have discussions, read from to practice mindfulness and relaxation.
They are wonderful because they provide an anchor, a visual focus point which can be especially calming for those that prefer less face to face discussions. Reading picture books with children and clients is a calming and containing activity that really allow children to see things from another’s perspective and to begin conversations about the character or themselves. Finding a new book that helps move children, gets them thinking and feeling new things is a wonderful gem to find.
I’d love to hear what books you’ve found to be insightful or helpful with yourself and your families and I can’t wait to show you the new books that I have ordered, that will be coming my way soon!

Risk or Uncertainty

#contentology #rollthedice

Rolling the dice and this idea of ‘feeling lucky’ brings up all kinds of thoughts for me, firstly is that I love the number 13, mainly because it is my birthday number and number 13 is known for being UNLUCKY to those that are superstitious-which is just not me!
So for me, 13 is a ‘lucky’ number. So whilst I’m not a believer in luck at all, I”m also not someone that even likes to gamble-at all! and by nature am generally risk averse.
So ‘rolling the dice’ is not something that happens for me easily and generally I’m very systematic at looking at the pros and cons of things before I take a plunge. I think over the years, I’ve become more at ease with taking calculated risks, because if we don’t take risks, we are more likely to be left sitting on the side-lines and not developing or growing.
So I think being courageous and taking planned risks and sometimes not knowing the outcome, but trusting that things will be ok regardless, is a good mindset to have.
So whilst I still don’t believe in luck, I do believe in making you own good fortune and that we can do much to shift our realities into the direction that we choose. And I also do believe that having a future that we want, achieving our goals, takes some risk taking-risk of disappointment, risk of failure, risk of anxiety, risk of feeling out of our depth.
But with this kind of risk, there is a chance for great rewards. When it comes to rewards of a life, family and mental health that we enjoy and are proud of, then I think it is totally worth it.
In fact, I would say that to do nothing about these due to these fears, would be much, much riskier.

So ‘roll the dice’ and do something a bit out of your comfort zone today!

Roll the dice

Ramp it up!

#contentology

#rampitup

This week has been one of increased confusion, disappointment and anxiety as Melbourne metro goes into lockdown for the next six weeks and many families prepare to work from home and home school once more.

So whilst this is happening, it is going to be really important for us all to make sure that we are ramping up our mental health and wellbeing efforts. It’s too easy to slip into those negative emotions and get weighed down by them.

So rather than be part of that, how can we make ourselves feel extra positive and extra calm this week?

For me it is staying inside my bubble of control-there is lots that we cannot control around us and if you get caught up in mainstream media, it can fuel anxiety and cause feelings of overwhelm and powerlessness.

So focus on what you have control over-which is a great deal! You control your thoughts, your behaviour, your intentions, your emotions, so take action and dial them in the direction you choose!

So firstly thing is if you need to get an update on COVID-19, only listen to one update a day about it and then no more!

Second is doing something centring and calming for you-whether that is exercise, art, meditation, playing with your pets, watching a favourite episode of a series, putting some music on that brings you joy, anything!

But make sure you have some planned ‘good-feels’ in you day today. Then also make sure that you have some conversations with people that will make you feel good and that will not bring your mood down.

Find those optimistic souls that you want to be around, ask about their day and share about yours.And lastly make a plan for yourself this week to do something just for you each day this week-something that you enjoy, something that brings a smile, it can be simple as your favourite beverage to drink, getting outside and taking some deep breaths, staring into a fire or taking warm shower or bath, or putting on your favourite perfume or cologne.

These little moments are going to help you focus and feel great, and they accumulate bit by bit. So make a commitment to push your mood in the right direction, one day at a time!Art and painting has been ramped up this weekend by my gorgeous girls-which is just amazing to see!